Life and Nutella

success

Usually when people ask about success, they talk about the amount of money in their bank account, the kind of car they are driving or the square footage of their house. But is that really what defines success? Success is not always what we see or what we think it is.

So what is actually success? Is having loads of money success? Is achieving a high rank at work means success? Is being surrounded by friends who love and respect you success? Is dancing at your 20th wedding anniversary success? I can keep going but you can see the point.

I, like many others, used to measure success by how much I could afford. Well, it is not difficult to come to this way of thinking when all your life you are being programmed into believing that being rich is the only way in life. I remember being called a loser, because I decided to let education go and concentrate on my relationship. After all, the chain goes :” school-> job -> money”, and according to many I have failed at the first step to success, so I will never become successful. Yes, maybe my relationship wasn’t exemplary at the time, but my priorities were clear to me and I had all the intentions, no matter, to be my definition of successful.

no always what you see.

Today, I am glad I didn’t crack under peer pressure. My relationship is amazing, with a wonderful man who loves and respects me and wants to build a family together. I decided to read and learn about how to have a good relationship and polish couple skills. I didn’t want it to just “fall together”, because things that easily fall together, as easily fall apart.

So as I said, I started learning. I began with “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. It teaches that as we have different languages in the world, we have different languages of love. Easy, if your wife speaks Chinese and you speak English, no matter how loud you speak, she still wont understand you, most likely that you both will just end up very frustrated. We just have a different way of receiving and giving love. For example, If you feel loved by spending time together and your husband feels loved when you give him compliments, no matter how much time you will spend one on one, if you do not give him his dose of compliments for the day, he will not feel loved, and vice versa. This is the principle Number One I apply in my relationship.

The other book that really helped was “Personality Plus” by Florence Littauer. This one teaches that we all have different personalities. Simple! Did it ever happen to you that you wonder if you and your siblings are really from the same parents? Well, it is because we all have different personalities. By learning that you can understand why we all act a certain way.

Next came “The Power of A Woman’s Words” by Sharon Jaynes. At first this book was difficult to read, because it is filled with bible quotes, and at the time I started reading it, I was very atheistic. This books explains very well how our (women) words affect everyone around us, how we can build or crush with simple words. I wish I have read this book ten years ago.

There were many others, but those were the top ones I considered helpful. Those books made me Successful in what I consider success. Plus, as you see, those principles can be applied not only with your loved ones but with other people too. For example, if you know your boss’s love language, lets say it’s Words of affirmation aka compliments, then you know that if you give your boss some compliments, sincere compliments, he will appreciate you more. It is all part of people skills, which we all know are very important if we want to go somewhere in life.

All of this just to say, define what success means to you and act on it, work to get closer to it every day. Life is short and it is up to YOU and only YOU if you would suffer and just go with the flow or Live The Life You Always Wanted.

INDEX

The Five Love Languages

Personality Plus

The Power Of a Woman’s Words

For More Leadership And Personal Development 

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  1. He makes me feel better when I am down
  2. He brings the best in me
  3. He loves my cookingLove Tank
  4. He love sushi- very very important!
  5. Whenever he hugs me I feel better
  6. I love that he loves me unconditionally
  7. He encourages me to become better
  8. He forgets stupid mistakes I make
  9. He is always honest with me
  10. He gives me back rubs every time I ask
  11. He encourages me to work harder and dream bigger
  12. He is a man of integrity
  13. He tries to be the best he can for me
  14. He always has my back
  15. He listens and my considers my opinions
  16. He knows exactly how I love my coffee
  17. He knows my Love Language and does everything he can to fill my Love Tank
  18. He doesn’t ridicule me for having different opinions
  19. He works hard to provide
  20. He loves our cat Sushi-  Meow
  21. He’s always respectful and nice to everyone he meets
  22. He’s my favourite geek in the whole world
  23. He’s not homophobic or racist
  24. He gets things for me when I ask, like drinks or snacks
  25. He always shows appreciation when I give him something or do something for him
  26. He doesn’t forget my birthday or our anniversary or other important dates
  27. He is willing to compromise
  28. He still tells me he loves me everyday
  29. He is great with computes… better than I am
  30. He knows programming and i think it’s hot
  31. He reads a lot of self-development books and applies them.
  32. He always asks for my opinion
  33. He opens doors for me, even the car door!
  34. He is extremely polite
  35. He makes me happy
  36. He is loyal
  37. He is a pearl in this deep, dark sea
  38. He has a huge, carrying heart
  39. He teaches me new things
  40. He is faithful to me
  41. He closes the light in the bedroom at night because he knows I am afraid of the dark
  42. He always carries heavy bags for me
  43. He drives me everywhere
  44. He looks amazing with in  shirts
  45. He protects me from scary spiders
  46. He always takes the garbage out
  47. He spontaneously sends me loving and touching texts
  48. Even on the days when I hate him, I still love him because he’s my best friend
  49. He has the same values as me
  50. I can always trust him
  51. He is my reason #1

And I am not even going to make a list of what I do not like, as we all have flaws and nobody is perfect, plus maybe a thing that I do not like today is going to be irrelevant tomorrow as he always tries to get better. I love you Nic.